i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
