i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
