god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
