Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
