Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
