I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
