Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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