If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
