Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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