Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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