I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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