The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
