chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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