:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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