and you said cock pushups were impossible
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
