So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
