then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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