Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
