Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize