Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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