There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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