Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
