Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
