Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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