Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
