I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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