scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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