I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
