butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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