how can u be prego again
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
