Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently you make a good broom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
