is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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