Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize