sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
