For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
