We're facebook friends in real life
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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