I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
