3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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