me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
