your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
