That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
