bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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