I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
