I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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