I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
