she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
