I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish you could order shots online.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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