your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
