I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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