i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
