the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
They took my balls.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
