I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
