So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
