where does the pee come out of this thing
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
