Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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