My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
