I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
