are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
