I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
