You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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