So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
