Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
