either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
